someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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