I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just gargled with NyQuil
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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