Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
