careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
