he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
