you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
