You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize