Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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