I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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