The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
