remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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