No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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