So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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