The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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