haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i can't believe i had my finger in that
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
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he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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