Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
