How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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