If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
