It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
