We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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