there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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