I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
40s are totally the cure
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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