So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
