Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
