so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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