There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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