benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
