since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
