god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
