I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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