i already hear my dad disowning me
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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