I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
