They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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