I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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