At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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