I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
