I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Hippo gnu deer
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
