would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
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found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
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so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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