she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
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You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
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On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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