there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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