if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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