now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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