just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
