She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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