Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
