Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
