Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
