question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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