You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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