Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So vagazzling was a success
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
