do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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