you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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