Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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