It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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