I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
