my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
