yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
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I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
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I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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