We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
