I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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