What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
