direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
